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That went – well, how she'd figured it would. Hera knows that both she and her father are very headstrong and driven (or maybe the word is 'stubborn'), and that as much as she'd been dreading it up to the moment her father answered her call, the conversation was only ever going to be brief and to the point. What she needed, what he could offer, and that was it. He'd made no room for pleasantries, didn't ask how she was – and she hadn't asked, either. She didn't want to talk about it, he didn't want to hear it, what they had time for was what was in front of them. He gave her coordinates where they could safely meet, and one extra piece of tantalizing news – his own forces had recently managed to steal a TIE bomber.

The urge to ask more about that did rise in her throat, but she'd swallowed it down, instead finishing off the call with a curt, "We'll see you soon."

And now the light from the hologram is off once more, and Hera thinks wryly that what she's doing is a little like slamming her head into a mirror. It's the kind of thing she thinks when she's not actually looking at him.

But there's no time to waste feeling sullen over unasked questions or hurt feelings. She leaves her cabin, and makes her way back up to the cockpit, stopping only briefly in the galley to confirm to the rest of the crew that they are in fact heading to Ryloth, and when they can expect to get there. She recommends rest in the meantime, but doesn't wait to see if they listen – she has a jump to calculate, and probably a few diagnostics to run while they're in hyperspace.

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It's not that Kanan rushes to finish up his caf, but he's not taking his time with it, either.

Then, of course, he makes his way up to the cockpit, to settle in next to Hera and try to make himself useful.

(Definitely not to distract himself from the fluttering in his stomach about meeting Cham Syndulla. Not because he's a freedom fighter, or a brilliant tactician -- though he'd be nervous about that under any other circumstances -- but because he's Hera's father, and one thing Kanan manifestly does not want is to make a fool of himself. Especially in front of Hera.)

"So."

A long pause.

"How are you doing?"

"About how I'd expect?"

She leans back in the pilots chair, turning her head to him. "I'm fine, Kanan."

"So . . . "

He repeats, to buy himself time, studying her expression.

"You don't want to talk about it? Not even tips on how to . . . "

Again he falters for a second, looking for the right words. 'Deal with him' is probably not the best way to phrase it.

"Work with them?"

Hera sighs, leaning back in her chair. That is, she has to admit, a valid point.

"Pretty much the same as anyone else we've worked with, except be more ready to be talked over and ignored."

Her eyes flicker closed at that, as she inwardly cringes at how resentful she sounds.

Kanan doesn't mention that tone, and does his best to keep his eyebrows straight and his brow smooth.

It mostly works.

"That's going to be hard for the kids."

Which includes everyone else on the crew except Chopper, let's be honest.

"Yeah, well."

She feels an urge to tuck up her legs and curl into the pilot's chair, but settles for folding her arms instead.

"Maybe I'm biased."

He could protest, but that would be disingenuous. And unfair.

"I know you're trying not to be."

"Am I?" she asks, turning back to face him.

"Because I don't think I'm doing much to hide it."

Well. At this moment.

She really isn't. And, right now, she shouldn't have to.

"It's just us in here," he says, scrubbing one hand through his hair.

"So talk to me."

Edited 2021-01-11 03:23 (UTC)

"What's there to talk about?"

She signs, leaning back in her seat again. "We parted on bad terms, and I'm not looking forward to needing his help again."

"Seems like he needs our help, too."

Okay, maybe that's the wrong thing to say.

"And you've always said I can talk to you about anything. I want to return the favor."

Again unable to argue with that, Hera takes a deep breath, and closes her eyes.

"I was - 17? When I left for good. He wasn't happy with me then and..."

She lets out a breath. "- I don't know how he'll react to me now."

"You think he's still holding a grudge about you leaving?"

Okay, that's concerning. The Syndulla name has always stood for professionalism -- or at least intense focus on the mission. But if Hera's concerned . . .

"And if he does, will he let it get in the way of the mission?"

"I think he thinks he knows best."

Her eyes snap open, but she keeps looking ahead, out into the blur of hyperspace. "He thinks he was right about my leaving, and he'll think he's right about whatever happens with this mission. He doesn't trust me enough to think anything else."

Well. There's that.

Kanan studies the side of her face for a minute, then turns to look out into hyperspace, too.

This is personal, and he's not always at his best with that kind of thing. But for Hera, he'll try.

"Well, we already know he's wrong about you leaving. And he's an idiot for not trusting you. I know that doesn't help with his opinions, but --"

"Well, that's why I avoided actually having to talk to him for years," she says, lifting a hand to her forehead.

"And I don't think anything's changed."

Edited 2021-01-18 22:27 (UTC)

"I take it we're also not going to be able to make it change during the course of the job, huh?"

But maybe they could! Maybe he could help mend the breach between Hera and her father, both legendary leaders in rebellious activities . . .

"I think we'll have bigger things to worry about."

She shakes her head. "I don't know, maybe that'll help us get through this."

And then they can get back to - barely speaking, she supposes.

"I'd almost rather we didn't have bigger things to worry about," Kanan says, with a crooked grin.

He can hear the joke fall flat as he says it.

"But he does seem, from what I've heard, to put the job first. And I know you do. So . . . "

So it'll be fine.

"Is there anything I can do to take your mind off it?"

"Should my mind be off it?"

She does smile slightly back. "I feel more like I should be - preparing for it."

The crookedness of Kanan's smile fades before the actual smile does.

"We could ask Chopper to pretend to be your Dad."

Kanan absolutely cannot offer himself in this role. For one, he doesn't know Cham at all, not really.

For another, Chopper has a great natural talent for being an asshole.

"And you could practice?"

Edited 2021-01-23 01:50 (UTC)

Hera actually chuckles at that.

"Having him throw a few cartons at me might be not be bad practice."

Edited 2021-01-23 07:55 (UTC)

Kanan's quiet for a second, remembering all his training with Ezra that Chopper 'assisted' with.

" . . . Since the top of the ship or dangling from the ramp aren't an option -- shall we try the cargo bay?"

"Well now you've just taken the fun out of it."

Hera sighs. "No," she says, or really decides as she's saying it, "what we should all do is get some rest."

Which of course, she'd said earlier, and promptly ignored.

Edited 2021-01-23 21:01 (UTC)

"It's my calling," Kanan says, only a little dryly.

Then --

"Rest sounds good. Will you be able to get any, or are you going to lie in your bunk and stew?"

Kanan's never done that himself, of course, but he's heard stories!

(He has totally done this.)

She looks back at him, and answers, "I'm not making any promises..."

He huffs out something like a laugh.

"Me, either, honestly. But I can sit with you for a little, and we can talk. See if that keeps your mind from circling enough to let you fall asleep."

Or, you know, they could not do that. But --

A pause, and then -

"Do we have to talk?"

All Kanan hears in his head for a moment is white noise.

"No," he says quickly, once he's regained his ability to speak.

"No, we really don't."

Hera just shakes her head, and takes out her chronometer, setting an alarm.

"I have to be back up here before we drop out of hyperspace."

"Of course," Kanan says easily.

"I'm not about to forget."

Sure, he gets distracted sometimes, but . . .

"Well, now we won't have to worry."

She looks over the controls once more, double checking that all the settings appear normal, before rising from the pilot's chair. "Maybe I can ask Chopper to keep watch."

Edited 2021-01-24 18:25 (UTC)

He grins, because he can't help it.

Then, because he also can't help it --

"Maybe don't tell him why we're asking him to keep watch. I really don't feel like being electrocuted right now."

Edited 2021-01-24 18:27 (UTC)

She offers him her hand.

"I'm not sure how much we're getting past him, really."

"But there's no call to rub his face in it, right?"

It should be noted that Kanan is already heading out of the cockpit, pausing by the door to wait for her to join him.

"Do you want me waiting for you after you find him and give him his marching orders?"

"Oh, you're coming with me," she says, with a small smile. "I like the moral support."

He shakes his head, but his grin has already turned smug.

"Fine by me."

He'll follow her out. For the support.

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