for_everyone | (no subject)

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The crew has made it back – and as it turned out, just barely. Learning of not just one, but two more Inquisitors was enough of a shock. But hearing the whole story as they debrief on the Command Deck only makes it all feel so much worse. How many of these red lightsaber wielding, Dark Force users could there be? How many more might be looking for them? Some quick thinking of Zeb and Chopper had managed to save everyone, but they couldn't count on that the next time. How much could they expect Kanan and Ezra to protect them from?

There were the medical supplies. Not everything the Phantom could have carried off that base, but then, Hera had long since learned that when it came to scavenger run, it was best to plan for coming back empty-handed. What they'd managed to recover would still last them a long while if rationed and conserved well enough. Things were still, for now, better than they had been. Considering those Inquisitors had been out there, had already known about Ezra and Kanan. And even Ahsoka.

Kanan stays silent during the meeting, and as soon as it's over, he pulls Ezra aside. Hera watches them leave together, but she doesn't follow them, instead staying behind to talk to Sato. They'd had a signal through an intermediary from a contact on Ibaar, an agent who'd barely managed to escape the planet as the Empire was building up a blockade. Things had been bad enough before, as the Empire had designated Ibaar an industrial zone and ripped up cities and towns to build factories and mines, with the populations pressed into labor. But apparently unhappy with the output, the local Moff, or maybe Tarkin, had responded by stopping food shipments.

It's the only news Hera imagined could make her feel worse. She and Sato began initial plans to break through the communications disruptions, assess which ships would be most likely to make it through a blockade. But she'd have to see it for herself to really know what might work, and though she didn't say it out loud, she saw no way they'd get food through to the Ibaarians without losing ships and crews in the process.

Which all means a few hours have passed by the time Hera's making it back down into the Ghost. The ship is mostly quiet. Hera can faintly hear music from Sabine's cabin, Zeb and Ezra's voices from up, maybe in the cockpit. Chopper's playing dejarik against himself. He gives Hera a one-armed wave as she passes, and Hera responds by dragging her knuckles gently along his top plating.

It's just a guess, she can't hear anything within. But she stops at Kanan's cabin, and knocks on the door.

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Kanan wishes that he were currently just sitting on his bunk, turning all the information he was able to get from Ezra over and over in his mind.

Picking out details, analyzing weaknesses, brewing hypotheses about the best way to take care of them should the Ghost crew run into them again.

Instead he's just panicking, taking deep breaths and trying to stay centered, to stay focused, to stop catastrophizing. But he's already thought Ezra was dead one already, and the rest of them --

He can't even fathom that. But maybe he'll have to.

So he's mostly trying to get his breathing back under control when Hera knocks on his door.

"Wh -- oh."

Kanan can feel her there, and that . . . helps.

"Come in."

The doors slide open.

Hera walks through, not speaking and not hesitating as she moves across the small room, and takes a seat on the bunk next to him. She doesn't say anything until the doors close again. Then -

"How are you doing?"

Kanan sags against her, scrubbing over his face with both hands.

"I should be doing better."

She takes his weight against her, moving her arm to wrap it around his shoulder.

"I don't think there's any 'should' in this, love."

He huffs out a breath, tucking his own arm around the small of her back.

"It'd be easier if there were, though, huh?"

Hera just stays quiet at first, taking slow, deep breaths. Giving herself the moment to listen to Kanan's breathing beside her, against her.

Softly, "We're going to figure this out."

How?, he doesn't say. They honestly don't have another choice. And he believes in Hera. If anyone can figure a way out of this mess, or keep everyone centered and working despite the lack of a plan, she can.

"Somehow, I let myself think there was only the one. Even after we ran into the Sith Lord, I -- "

She nods, slightly, against him.

"It can be different this time," she says. "Now it's something you've gone up against before."

"There's that," he says with another breath of something that isn't a laugh.

He shifts a little to rest his cheek against the top of her head, settling in.

"And you -- are you okay?"

Edited 2019-01-16 03:39 (UTC)

She takes a moment to decide on her answer.

"There's always going to be something else," she says, her voice still quiet. "And this is always going to mean putting them in danger."

But this was an especially strong reminder of it.

"It's hard."

Kanan tugs her a little closer, or maybe pulls himself closer is more to the mark.

"I knew it would be, but it's . . . different, actually being the one responsible."

And he's only got Ezra as his absolute and direct responsibility (at least in part).

"As a teacher, I mean."

He's not sure how she's done it for so long.

"I know," she murmurs.

"And it doesn't get easier."

He's quiet for a second, tucking his arm more tightly around her waist.

"Can . . . is there anything I can do? To help with that."

Hera thinks, in this moment, not of Inquisitors, but of the task ahead of them. Of TIEs tearing ships apart, while below, the people on Ibaar -

With her free hand, she touches his, on her hip.

And gently, she answers, "Thank you. But not right now."

Edited 2019-01-17 02:55 (UTC)

"All right," he says, falling quiet again. He asked, she answered, and he trusts that she'll tell him if there ever is anything. And, in the meantime, he can pay more attention.

Speaking of --

"Thanks."

At first, Hera stays quiet. She curls her fingers around Kanan's, she lets seconds stretch into minutes. Eventually, she even closes her eyes.

It's easy to just let the time pass, like this. And as those minutes pass, the idea of speaking again, of breaking this, gets harder and harder to take.

But -

"Do you - want to talk about it?"

"I -- "

The denial is instant, but if he thinks about it longer, that's . . . probably not the best plan. And they're really going to need a plan to get through this, because the Inquisitors aren't going to stop.

"I don't want to, exactly, but we should. It's too much not to have everyone on the same page. Or at least as much of everyone as you think wise."

"All right."

She still waits, for as long as she feels she can, before - "Maybe we should have some caf."

"I'm not sure I need a stimulant," Kanan says, half a laugh caught in the back of his throat.

"But something hot to keep my hands busy would be great."

He fidgets momentarily.

"Do you want me to make it?"

"If you want to stay busy."

After a few more seconds, she starts to slowly shift his weight from her.

"I think we have tea somewhere, too."

It takes Kanan a second to realize why his weight is shifting, and then he hastens to move, standing up and taking one step forward.

"Uh. Yeah. Maybe tea this time, unless you want caf? It might help."

He guesses.

And, unless she's about to stop him, he'll start moving toward the door to his bunk, and the corridor to the galley beyond.

"I'll look for it."

Hera doesn't try to stop him. She does reach out, clasping his hand for a moment, but then lets go before the doors open.

Chopper's still at the dejarik board. He swivels to watch them, as Hera starts looking through the cupboards. "I think there's still some in the back somewhere..."

Kanan tries not to hover over her shoulder, moving to look at the cupboard farthest from her current position.

"I remember smelling something like the Chandrilan stuff recently . . . "

Is it here? No, that's just more protein paste. Hmm.

"Oh -"

Hera shifts to her toes to reach back, her fingers touching the edge of a soft, stiff paper box, and she draws it out. The box is hued with simple shades of white and gray.

"I think it's from the last time we were on Gatalenta."

Which was... a long while ago, now that she thought about it.

Kanan musters a faint smile.

"Guess we should use it before it gets any older, huh?"

He closes the cupboard, heading over to take the package from Hera and start heating up water.

"So. While I do this . . . "

Um.

"Do you have any questions you want to ask, or should I just start at what I think is the beginning?"