(no subject)

[for_everyone]

Hera couldn't be blamed for checking her chronometer again. Or at least, that's what she was telling herself. There was down time, but it was precious, and somehow the lack of any contact on her comm was what made her even more inclined to keep being sure they were still well within that down period. The Ghost was locked down in the most recent bit of Garel spaceport they'd managed to claim, and Chopper was on guard duty while most of the organic members of the crew were resting after an extremely eventful day. Hera had been surprised when, after they'd finished their debrief with Sato, Kanan had passed his own cabin to follow her.

She left the doors locked, but slid down the volume of the music she'd put on. There wasn't much privacy on a fully-manned freighter, but if the other crew had noticed anything, or cared, they hadn't mentioned it, and Hera would rather let them raise it if they wanted to. It probably wasn't the most responsible way to handle it, but – there was so much else to think about. But it was so much easier to let one thing be uncomplicated, even if she knew it wasn't.

Her boots are by the door, her gloves and goggles on the shelf in the aft wall of the cabin. Her chronometer leaned against her gloves, and she set the music player down next to them, leaving these where they were for the moment and moving back toward the cot.

Comments

[for_everyone]

Hera chuckles, softly, before rising up again. As she moves, she lifts her hand, brush a few fingers against his chin.

"I don't mind keeping you to myself again when I have the chance."

[notallofus]

The color in his cheeks heightens just a little. He can't help it.

"Yeah, well."

He closes his eyes and leans his face into her hand.

"Don't let Chop hear you say that."

[for_everyone]

She raises an eyebrow.

"You think he'd be jealous?"

[notallofus]

Kanan takes a moment to -- no, he just straight up laughs.

"Not, you know, of that. Mad we weren't including him in the count, maybe."

[for_everyone]

"Maybe."

She strokes his chin again, but then moves away, leaning forward over the side of the cot.

And then, pushing them against his chest as she speaks, "Pants."

[notallofus]

"Unfair," he mutters, just this side of a whine.

Then, of course, he swings his legs out from under the thin blanket and starts putting his pants on.

"Right. What have we got to get done before today ends?"

[for_everyone]

"I'll need to check in with Sato again."

She leans over the cot again, and picks up his shirt. "And I have a guard shift."

[notallofus]

Ugh, more clothes.

"How long are you on shift for this time?"

Kanan's pretty sure he also has somewhere to be, but his brain is just a little fuzzy right now.

[for_everyone]

"Four hours."

Setting his shirt down next to him, "Which I've scheduled for you to sleep."

[notallofus]

. . . okay, that's pretty tempting.

"Maybe I'll even have good dreams."

Stranger things have happened!

[for_everyone]

"But really -"

She slips down to the edge of the cot again, "Are you okay?"

[notallofus]

It takes him a second or two to decide, but --

Kanan sighs, dropping back down on his back and throwing his arm over his eyes.

"I don't know. The mission was . . . "

[for_everyone]

"I knew you weren't happy with your assignment."

But her voice is mild, and she puts a hand over his as she speaks.

[notallofus]

Kanan's skin twitches under her touch, and after a moment he turns his hand over and links his fingers with hers.

"No," he says, because it's true. "I wasn't."

A breath.

"You know I've never been good at letting things go."

Not even when he spent a whole lot of years trying.

[for_everyone]

"I don't know if I'd say it like that," Hera answers.

"But I know you haven't had an easy time with Rex."

[notallofus]

Kanan's quiet for a minute, jaw working.

Then --

"Not just Rex."

As if that wasn't obvious.

[for_everyone]

"All right," Hera says, with a small nod.

But, for the moment, that's all she says.

[notallofus]

Kanan rubs his face with his free hand, breathing.

"He makes it hard to forget what happened. I really thought I'd done it, or that I could do it, but -- "

[for_everyone]

Hera takes a deep breath, and then, mildly -

"I've never been sure about forgetting."

[notallofus]

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure that was the wrong thing for me to be doing. I don't know why I've been so stubborn about it."

He huffs out a breath that isn't a laugh.

"If I hadn't tried for so long . . . "

[for_everyone]

"I don't think you had a choice for a while."

She presses her fingers against his. "But I - I hope we're helping you have more of one now."

[notallofus]

"You are," he says instantly. "You have been. You always have been."

He holds on to her hand very tightly, grip easing after a long few seconds.

"I think I didn't realize I was so angry. Before."

[for_everyone]

"You were't allowed to be angry before, either," Hera surmises.

"And now you're being asked to... do something like forgive without even getting to be angry about it first."

[notallofus]

Kanan frowns heavily, shaking his head.

"It's petty, though, right? Not what happened, but -- "

He tries again,"I mean, considering all we have going on, all we have to do, what the stakes are . . . "

[for_everyone]

"It's not petty," Hera says, after a moment of silence. "But -"

Her thumb twitches, gently pressing along the palm of his hand. "- I don't always have time for it."